The New Isabella Swan
by leighley16
Summary: It's been seventy years since Edward left Bella in the forest and something is a little different about her.What will happen when she sees a familiar face at Forks High School?
1. Chapter 1

**The New Isabella Swan**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 1: **It was the night of Harry Clearwater's funeral, the beach was cold and windy as I walked down it, everyone was at Harry's including the pack. I was just finishing my 7th circuit of the crescent moon beach when a flickering of light out in the ocean caught me eye. As I searched for it I heard a voice behind me. And my blood froze.

"Hello Bella." Said a high soprano voice. I spun around and there she stood, soaking wet. The vampire that had haunted my dreams for ever since I'd met Laurent in the clearing….Victoria.

Her brilliant red hair blowing around her oddly feline face as she slowly stalked towards me. I wanted to say something, anything really, maybe to beg for my life or threaten her but I was too focused on the person next to her…Edward.

My memories were nothing compared to this, every detail defined perfectly, his eyes -a gorgeous topaz- were focused on Victoria and his voice, oh it was as good as him being her and without the pain that my memories caused. He was growling low and menacing at Victoria. Suddenly spiking at her next words.

"How have you been Bella? I'm sooooo sorry that I haven't had a chance to talk to you yet but your werewolf pals have been making it difficult for me." Her eyes glinted maliciously as she said this causing me to shudder. "I couldn't believe when I saw that the Cullen's had left I was so sure that Edward would never leave you, so you can see that I was generally shocked when I noticed their scent had grown old, but I see you have found yourself _another_ set of bodyguards, hmmm you always have someone to hide behind don't you?" She cocked her head to the side as she said this as though she was trying to figure out why so many people would risk their lives for me. I myself didn't even know the answer to it.

Edward was roaring at her by now and had sunk to a protective crouch in front of me but which of course would do nothing. Some how during this I found my voice. "W-what are y-you going to do t-to me?" I finally stammered out.

"Oh well I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise would I?" She replied with a twisted smile. "When your boyfriend went and killed James I was beyond pain, I want him to feel that pain and to know what I went through because of him. I know this is a cliché but do you have any last words?" Her smile was so twisted it was more like a grimace

I said "Edward, I love you."

And with that she lunged at me.

Edward's roar of defiance was almost as loud as the sick sound of my leg snapping or my scream of pain that I was sure would reach people in Australia. She licked her lips as she stood over me and lowered a hand to my face as if to caress me, then she grabbed a fist full of my hair and hauled me to my feet but as my leg went out from me she kept her hand in my hair so that I was dangling from it. My next scream almost drowned out Edward's furious roar.

She dropped me onto the stones after that and my breath _whooshed_ out of me. Then she grabbed the hand with James scar on it and stroked it tenderly. I heard the sound of heavy paws, Edward's furious "NOOOOOOOO!" and from seemingly far away my own scream of pain as she bit into my hand. I blacked out.

When I came to, just like when James bit me the fire suddenly took over my whole mind the pain of my leg turning into nothing. I tasted blood and realised that I had bit into my lip to stop my self from screaming. Next I heard a scream of defiance and strange metallic screeching and I knew that the wolves had finally gotten to Victoria. If I hadn't been going through torture I probably would've of smiled with relief.

I then felt hands shaking me and a frantic voice saying my name. "Bella, Bella oh God no! Bella come on talk to me" I distantly realised that it was Jake calling to me but I knew that if I replied I would start screaming again. "Is she dead?" asked Jake between sobs.

"The red head? Yeah she's dead Jake." Said a deep voice which later I found out to be Sam. "No Bella! Is she dead?" My whole body was shaking with the force of his sobs.

"No she's not Jake you can still hear he heart beat." Replied Sam. The fire had now spread through my whole body, I couldn't imagine a pain worse than it. I tried focusing on Sam and Jakes conversation to distract me from it, but also because I was confused, because surely I was dead and had gone to Hell.

"Then why aren't we taking her to the hospital?" Jacob stood up as he said this.

"Jake, it's too late."

"Damn it! It's not too late her heart's still beating!" Yelled Jake

"Jacob! Calm down!" Said Sam

"HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN BELLA IS LYING HERE DYING AND YOU DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!" I could feel the ground shaking next to me.

"She's not dying." Said Sam in a dangerously calm voice

"She's…..not dying?" Said Jacob, the ground suddenly stop shaking. I couldn't believe what I was hearing _she's not dying_ Sam had said, then what the HELL was going on? "Jake look at….look at her hand." Said Sam. What? What had happened to my hand? I didn't think Victoria had done anything to my hand. And then it clicked why I was burning and why Sam had said I was alive but didn't want to take me to the hospital.

Victoria had bitten me. I was becoming a vampire.

This new information staggered me. I couldn't believe that I was getting which once apon a time had been my heart's desire only six months late. I felt someone picking up my hand and then a sharp gasp. "Oh my God, the bitch bit her."

"I'm so sorry Jake." Said Sam in a grave voice.

"So what now? Where are we going to put her?" Asked Jacob

"Jake we can't let her live."

"WHAT? You're not going to kill her! The treaty isn't broken!" Yes, I thought, please kill me what's the point of going through this pain for immortality when I had no Edward to share it with?

"Jacob can we take this inside? People are going to notice us soon." Sam said.

"Fine but we take her to my house."

"Okay but be quick." Hissed Sam. I felt the ground go out from under me and a part of me thought that I should be apposed to this but since the majority of me was focused on my burning body I really couldn't care less.

I dully noticed that whoever was carrying me had put on something soft, so I guessed I was in Jakes house and on his bed. I then heard voices fairly close by. In the hall? "Jake you can't think we can let a _newborn_ vampire loose in Forks! Our job is to protect the people NOT kill them which what we're doing by letting her live!"

"We CAN let her live she'll be like the Cullen's and live off the blood of animal's!"

I tuned out after that not wanting to listen if they were going to talk about the Cullen's. The pain was just too much. Jacob came in soon after that and sat down and the seemed to fall asleep. To past the time I started counting his breaths. 43,165 breaths later someone with very light footsteps walked in and shook Jacob awake. "Jake, wake up you got to eat something." Said a male's voice that was heavy with concern.

"Thanks Seth." It came out slightly muffled so I guessed he was all ready eating the ….cereal? How could I smell that? My body must already by changing from human to vampire.

"How come she isn't screaming? Didn't she say that the others were conscious during their transformations?" Asked Seth. It took Jake so long to answer that I didn't think he was going to and started counting again. "Billy has two theories one is that she is awake and just enduring it in silence." Jakes voice broke at that." Theory two is that when Victoria tortured her she passed out before she bit her and her body won't awaken until it's over." He said this with a bitter edge to his voice.

"What are we telling Charlie?" Seth asked.

"That she's sleeping over here for a few days, Charlie's so distraught about Harry that he barely said anything on the phone." Jacob's voice sounded dead.

"What about when she wakes up? What are we going to tell Charlie? And what if we can't control her? Will you be able to kill her?" Seth's voice was thick with worry.

"I don't know Seth, I just don't know."


	2. Chapter 2

**The New Isabella Swan**

**Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own any of the Twilight books.**

**A/N: I'm really sorry about all the changes I've made in the first chapter. This is my first novel and I promise not to upload till I'm 100% with it.**

**JPOV**

**Chapter 2: **My mind was blank with shock, with all the crazy things going on around here you don't expect someone to die from something as common as a heart attack. I guess it's ironic how both of Harry's kids are werewolves that are trying to kill a psychotic vampire and then he dies of a heart attack. Life is cruel.

I was contemplating this while the sermon was on, everyone was crammed into the Clearwater's backyard. The entire pack's here, Sam wanted to keep some of us on patrol in case the red head came back but I said since we chased her half-way to Canada last night we'd be okay (and also because Seth, Leah and Sue needed us all) I wish I realised how much I'd regret that decision later.

My thoughts strayed to Bella, when I asked if she'd wanted to come she claimed that she didn't have the right to. When I said that of course she did she just shook her head and told me she'd be at the beach. _Again_

I hated to think of her there now all by herself without any protection and told her as much but she said that the pack needed me and she was right I couldn't. Then with a play full shove she told me that she wasn't entirely hopeless and could take care of herself for a couple of hours.

I was jolted out of my musing by my dad shaking my shoulder. "Jake it's over I'm going to stay here, you should talk to Seth." His eyes were heavy with concern.

"I will but the pack's having a meeting first."

"Oh, are Seth and Leah going?"

"No Sam's giving them time to grieve first."

"Okay then I'll see you later then." He said wheeling off to a grief stricken Sue.

I got up and walked to the edge of the backyard where the forest met the fence and jumped over it. Taking off my slacks and black jumper as I did and tying them to the piece of rope round on my ankle. I felt the familiar tremor of heat as I transformed from man to wolf in a second. Then I was off, I know that I usually complained about being a werewolf but this slightly made up for everything. There was no greater high then pelting around the dense forest in this body, a hundred times better than my bike.

I then realised that I wasn't alone in my head. _Jacob this not the time for fun come to the clearing, now!_ It was Sam, so I altered my course slightly to my left and within 5 seconds I was in the clearing. I must have been the only one screwing around because everyone was there even the new kids, Colin and Brady. I strode around the circle that they had formed to Sam's right. I realised with a shock that both Seth and Leah was there. _Seth? What are you doing here I thought you were staying at home._ I couldn't believe this, why would Sam bring them here?

_Crap,_ I thought, I must have missed something, something _big. I don't know,_ replied Seth,_ Sam said we had to come, and that he had something to tell us._ I turned my attention to Sam, who hadn't said a thing during our entire conversation._ Well_, I asked him, _what is so important that you had to drag both of them from their father's funeral?_ I was angry now, I couldn't think of anything that would cause Sam to do this. Who the hell did he think he was?_ Jake, the red head is back and we now have a great opportunity to kill her._ I hadn't been expecting that, usually once we scared her off she would come back a few days later, never right away.

_Wait, she's back? Where is she?_ I couldn't believe that Sam would withhold this until now._ Quil, Embry and I chased her to the cliff, she jumped off and started swimming, we went up and down the coast in case she doubled back. But we've had no sighting, we have assumed that she'll come up soon, then…_

Sam had stopped because I had just yelled_ Wait! She's in the water? Bella's on the beach! We have to_. I froze, everyone did, we all heard it, I was positive that that sound would haunt me for the rest of my days, the sound of Bella screaming.

We acted as one, everyone running full pelt towards the beach, my head was chaos everyone shouting their thoughts._ When did she come back? How didn't we know that she was this close? How did she know where Bella was?_ Then we heard it again, the sound of her screams made me want to claw at my ears. I tried to tune it out and focus on my running, within seconds we'd made the beach. The sight before us was sickening. Bella lying broken on the multi-coloured pepples, staring fearfully into eyes of the predator. Victoria. As we ran towards them I saw her take Bella's hand and stroke it almost reverently. I didn't see anymore as I sunk my teeth into her neck.

I don't know why, maybe it was Bella's blood dripping from her broken leg, but she didn't realise that we were there until it was too late. She managed one shriek of defiance before I ripped her head from her shoulders. I let my brother's do the rest I was to focused on Bella, she appeared to be unconscious. I quickly morphed back to human, yanked my pants on and ran to her.

I knelt beside her and grabbed her shoulders "Bella oh God no! Bella come on talk to me." I was sobbing by now. I felt someone standing next to me and looked up to see Sam with disturbing expression on his face. "Is she dead?" I asked him between sobs. He shifted his gaze from Bella to me. "The red head? Yeah she's dead Jake."

"No Bella! Is she dead?" I yelled, Bella's whole body was shaking with force of my sobs." No she's not Jake you can still hear her heart beat." Anger and relief flooded through me. And once I paused to actually listen I realised I could hear it too, it was beating a little faster than usual but considering what she'd been through, I guessed that was to be expected.

"Then why aren't we taking her to the hospital?" I stood up as I said this. I had thought Sam had gotten over his aversion to Bella and she was still a human so why would he want to kill her? "Jake, it's too late." He replied.

"Damn it! It's not too late her heart's still beating!" I couldn't believe this, there was no way he would leave Emily dying there and say it's too late. "Jacob! Calm down!" I hadn't realised when I moved but Sam and I were suddenly face to face. "HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN BELLA IS LYING HERE DYING AND YOU DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?"

In a dangerously calm voice Sam then said "She's not dying." I stopped shaking, the brief anger I'd just felt towards Sam evaporated and the red haze fled my vision I was so dumbstruck. "She's….not dying?" I asked perplexed. Sam looked back down to Bella lying broken like a thrown away doll. He took a deep breath and said "Jake look at…..look at her hand."

I quickly crouched down next to her and picked up her hand, and I saw it, a little smaller than her other one but right next to it was a cut like a crescent moon. A vampire bit mark. I sucked in a sharp breath. "Oh my God, the bitch bit her." I felt Sam's hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry Jake." He said in a grave voice. I couldn't believe it. Bella, warm, clumsy Bella was going to become a vampire. A killer.

I made my decision then and there that I was not going to kill her or let anyone else kill her no matter what I thought before having Bella as a vampire was better than having her dead. I could make this work I decided, I would. "So what now where are we going to put her?" I asked

Sam looked at me like I had gone crazy, which in a way I had. "Jake we can't let her live." I felt my brief anger return in a flash. I stood up again to face Sam.

"WHAT? You're not going to kill her! The treaty isn't broken!" Sam suddenly looked around us and said. "Jacob can we take this inside? People are going to notice us soon." I looked around and saw that only Quil and Embry were in wolf form by the edge of the trees, everyone else was picking up pieces of our kill or of wood to start a fire. I noticed that Seth and Leah were no where in sight.

"Fine." I said. "But we take her to my house." I said.

"Okay buy be quick." He hissed. I bent and scooped Bella up in my arms, trying to me careful with her leg. And started to lightly jog towards my house, Sam following in my wake. Within minutes I was walking through the hall to my room and laid Bella gently on my bed, then walked out to Sam in the hallway.

"Jake you can't think we can let a _newborn_ vampire loose in Forks! Our job is to protect the people NOT kill them which is what we're doing by letting her live!" I couldn't believe I was hearing this if it was Emily lying there he would attack anyone that even_ mentioned_ killing her, I nearly said us much but a voice in my head- that spoke in my mum's voice- told me that Sam's control, though much better than any of ours, wasn't perfect and that saying that might just push him over the edge. Instead I said.

"We CAN let her live she'll be like the Cullen's and live off the blood of animal's!"

"She won't be able to control herself! What are you going to do? Take her to Charlie like this? Offer him as her first kill? Jake we have to do this!" I was shaking again but the red haze hadn't tinged my vision yet.

"I will _not_ let anyone touch her." I hissed. Sam started to shake his head which only infuriated me more. "What are you going to do_ Jacob_ attack one of you're brothers? Kill one?" Suddenly all the anger drained from I couldn't believe Sam would suggest such a thing. "No." I said "I won't attack any of you but I will not let anyone touch her." Sam looked right into my eyes and I knew what he was going to do before he did it. "You _will_ do as I say." He said in the double toned voice of the Alpha. I felt my will crumble slightly.

But as I looked behind me and saw Bella lying on my bed I felt a surge of strength and looked Sam right in the eye as well. And said "No Sam I won't." He shifted so that we were a few inches apart. "Jacob, you will do as I say." The force was so strong that I felt my knees buckle so I was suddenly knelling before him.

I hated this, the feeling of helplessness but I would end up doing what he wanted, if he was willing to push it which he obviously was. But there was a good reason for the Alpha's authority. Even a pack as strong as ours wasn't much of a force without a leader. We had to move together, to think together, in order to be effective. And that required the body to have a head.

So what if Sam was wrong now? There was nothing, I or the rest of the pack could do. No one could dispute the Alpha's decision.

Except.

And there it was- a thought I'd never, never wanted to have. But now, with my will as Sam's puppet and the fact that Sam wanted to kill the girl I loved, I recognized the exception with relief- more than relief, with a fierce joy.

No one could dispute the Alpha's decision- except for _me._

I hadn't earned anything. But there were things that had been born in me, things I'd left unclaimed. I'd never wanted to lead the pack. I didn't want to do it now. I didn't want the responsibility for all our fates resting on my shoulders. I knew Sam was better at it than I could ever be.

But he was wrong now.

I had not been born to kneel before him. The bonds fell of my body the second I embraced my birthright. I could feel it gathering in me, both a freedom and also a strange hollow power. Hollow because an Alpha's power came from his pack, and I had no pack. For a second loneliness overwhelmed me. I had no pack now.

I stood up and Sam's eyes widened as I said "No." He jumped back into the wall. I knew he saw it right away as I defied him. "Jacob? What have you done?"

"You will not touch her, and I will not follow you."

"You'll choose her over your family? She'll _never_ love you Jacob especially now! You're in love with a parasite!" I took a deep breath, they were hard words but probably true nonetheless. " I don't care, _you will not hurt her!."_

" We have to protect our families!"

"Then I'll leave with her!"

"Jacob—you can't turn you're back on the tribe, for one bloodsucker!" I could hear the double echo of the Alpha in his voice. I stared into his furious eyes and said "Ephraim Black's son was not born to follow Levi Uley's. Now get out of my house." Then I turned around and slammed the door in his face.

My heart was still pounding the urge to fight him was so strong. But as I saw Bella lying there slowly morphing from breakable, fragile human to cold, unyielding stone. I felt myself calm down. And went and sat in my desk chair. I was asleep within seconds.

I woke up a little later and heard Billy talking on the phone to some one. "Three days that's what Jake said." I jolted at the sound of my name and listened closer. "Yeah, she hasn't screamed or moved once she he brought her here." There was a pause here. "Well either she is awake and just going through it in silence, so not to freak Jake out. That or when she passed out on the beach, the blood sucker bit afterwards and she'll stay unconscious until it's over." Another pause. "Yeah, I don't know what will happen between them now. Apparently he told Sam he was going to take off with her, I'm not sure what he'll do." A long pause. "Okay, goodnight Sue."

It took me a while to get back to sleep after that. Billy's conversation kept buzzing round my head. _She is awake and just going through it in silence._ To imagine that Bella was lying there not two feet from me in unimaginable pain was almost too much for me. I eventually fell asleep only to be plagued with dreams of Bella screaming.

I woke up to Seth shaking my shoulder with a bowl of cereal in his hand. "Jake, wake up you got to eat something." He said, his voice heavy with concern. "Thanks, Seth." I managed to say around the cereal in my mouth. Seth then looked at Bella with a confused expression. 'How come she isn't screaming? Didn't she say that the others were conscious during their transformations?" He asked. I took me a long time to answer, Billy and Sue's conversation was still buzzing around my head and making it ache.

Eventually I said "Billy has two theories one is that she is awake and just enduring it in silence," On saying that my voice broke. "Theory two is that when the blood-sucker tortured her she passed out before she bit her and her body won't awaken until it's over." I said this with a bitter edge to my voice.

"What are we telling Charlie?" Seth asked.

'That she's sleeping over here for a few days, Charlie's so distraught about Harry that he barely said anything on the phone."

"What about when she wakes up? What are we going to tell Charlie? And what is we can't control her? Will you be able to kill her?" His voice was thick with worry.

"I don't know Seth, I just don't know." I said suddenly very tired which was saying something considering it was 7:23 in the morning which meant I'd slept for about 12 hours. He nodded his head at that and we sat in silence for a while. Then Seth asked "Is it true? Are you really not a part of the pack any more?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I answered him, after exhaling in a large gust I said " Yes, it's true I just couldn't let him hurt her, I'm sorry Seth."

"But you'll come back won't you, after all this is over?" I thought about that for a moment. "No, I don't think so, I can't just turn this off, it feels kind of permanent." Seth took this in with a sober expression before saying. "Well then I'll just become apart of your pack." His expression brightened at this, while mine turned to one of horror. " No, you're not, you'll stay with Sam!" Seth's expression was still joyous. "Too late! I've decided I'm going to join you and Bella when she wakes up, she'll be a bit of a handful so you'll need some help anyway.

I could tell he was serious, as that hollow power inside of me lessened a bit. "Oh God." I muttered. "Leah's going to kill me."

The rest of the day passed without incident I only left my room for the most basic needs, I didn't expect Sam to try anything but I was always on my guard. Seth stopped by often, even went wolf once and told me that no one else was in his head even though he new Sam and most of the pack were in wolf form. That was kind of a downer as it would have been helpful to know what they were planning to do about Bella but at least they couldn't hear us either.

It was about 12 o'clock the next day when Leah arrived. Seth had answered the door (I still wouldn't leave Bella's side) she just pushed past him and walked straight into my room and said "Jacob I want to join you're pack." I couldn't believe this Seth I could understand wanting to join me but Leah? I had know idea. "Ugh." I said. "What is with you Clearwater's? I know this is harsh but you're dad just _died_ for Christ's sake! Don't you think you're mum might need you now?"

Seth suddenly spoke up from the doorway "You like me don't you Jake? I've been helpful haven't I?" I had to admit that the kid had been pretty helpful by patrolling my house in case anyone came by, which thankfully no one had. I sighed "Yeah kid you've been pretty helpful but you're mum needs you and also if you and Leah are a packaged deal I'm afraid you have to go home." Seth turned to Leah after this.

"Aww Leah you ruin everything!" He said. She sighed and said.

"Yer, I know." She said glumly.

I took a deep breath than exhaled slowly. "Fine! You can stay Leah but both of you have got to stay with your mum unless I really need you, okay?" Leah's expression brightened considerably. And said "Fine." Then it clicked, Leah had wanted to get away from Sam; she was so sick of being the bitchy ex-girlfriend that everyone resented that she took the first way out even if it meant protecting Bella as a vampire. Jeeze she really was desperate.

"Okay." I said "But first I want to know what happened after I left."

"I can show you if you want." I deliberated this for a moment it was true that I doubted any one was going to come for Bella and I was seriously curious about the silence that Seth had told me about. "Okay but only for a few minutes."

We quickly jogged to the edge of my tiny backyard and jumped the fence. Leah went in a different direction to us to take off her clothes. Nudity was an inconvenient but unavoidable part of pack life. We'd all thought nothing of it before Leah came along. Then it got awkward. Leah had average control when it came to her temper—it took her the usual length of time to stop exploding out of her clothes every time she got pissed. We'd all caught a glimpse. And it wasn't like she wasn't worth looking at; it was just that it was so _not_ worth it when she caught you thinking about it later.

Anyway, once we were all in wolf form Leah started to show us what had happened after I left them. Sam had brought in a command saying neither Quil nor Embry were allowed to come any where near me or my house. _What?_ I asked her._ Why would he do that?_ She rolled her eyes at me and sat down on the dirt._ Because, you idiot, they want to join our little ragtag pack as well._ She then showed us Sam talking to the pack._ He's preparing to wait until Bella's a vampire and see what happens, I must warn you she's been included in the Cullen's treaty so if she kills one person they'll try to kill her. Okay_ I thought,_ that just means I'll have to take her somewhere remote until she can control herself._

We went back after that, Seth and Leah went back home- once I told them that I would kick their butts all the way there if they didn't- and I was pretty sure my dad was there anyway, so it was just me in the house. I had just settled down into my desk chair when I saw a flicker of movement. I whipped around, I could have sworn it was Bella's hand moving. I moved closer to her and grabbed her hand. "Bella? Can you hear me, sweetheart?" I squeezed her hand, but nothing changed. I sat like that for about half an hour but it felt like forever. I heard her heart beat faster and faster spluttered once, then silence.

Then slowly, so slowly I thought I might be imaging it she opened her eyes. "Wow, Jake you stink." She in a trilling bell like voice, I managed a watery laugh.

**BPOV**

Pain, pain, pain that's all that was going through my mind as I laid on Jacob's bed while I burned. With every crack and sizzle I felt like I was going to slip and loose my control, I tried to remember why I was doing this. Because I knew that if I started screaming I'd be hurting Jacob even more than I already had. After all he did for me I could do this for him.

I tried focusing on other things like Jake's and sometimes Seth's breathing, I couldn't really concentrate on their conversations anymore because I really didn't understand them and when Leah came it made everything more complicated rather then clear it up. Once she came Jake left with her and Seth but he came back soon.

Then I noticed the fire had started to fade from my fingertips and toes, I moved them, then heard Jake's breath catch. He moved over to me and grabbed my hand. "Bella? Can you hear me sweetheart?" I wanted to yell yes, I can. But I knew my resolve would slip and I would start screaming. Then as the fire retracted to my palms, the fire in my heart grew even hotter. How was that possible? Then slowly, oh so slowly it retracted to my elbows and knees. My heart started to beat faster and faster as though trying to fit a lifetimes worth in the minuets it had left. Until finally the fire retracted to my heart, which was beating ridiculously fast, it spluttered once, then was silent.

The fire had fully evaporated from my system. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Jake looking down at me. I sniffed and was pleased to realise that Jake's scent was not at all appetising in fact it was quite repulsive. "Wow, Jake you stink." I said and my eyes widened at the sound of my trilling bell like voice.

He laughed weakly.


	3. Chapter 3

**The New Isabella Swan**

**Disclaimer: I do not own or claim any of the Twilight books**

**A/N: A big thankyou to everyone that reviewed or added my story. It means so much to me. Please review this chapter because I'm still not to sure about it. And really want to know what you think.**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 3: **Blinking rapidly I stared around Jake's little bedroom. It was amazing what I could see with these eyes. I could see the dust motes floating around the room even the ones floating around in the dark and….. I gasped, I'd thought I knew Jacob's face better than my own. But I might as well as never seen him before. Every part of his face was in stunning detail. His glossy black hair- pulled into a pony tail at the base of his neck- was shinning as brightly as the moon.

His russet skin (which I'd always thought was pretty) looked gorgeous to me now. I'd taken this all in within a tenth of a second. I decided to sit up and then I was suddenly. Jake gasped and jumped back. "Oh I'm sorry Jake, I didn't know that was going to happen." I said in a tinkling bell voice.

"Oh it's okay Bells, I'm just happy that your okay." He grinned at me as he said. " I have to admit you're a freak show Bella." I grinned back at him and heard his breath catch. "What?" I asked. I took a deep breath, air whistled down my throat, swirling the motes in to a vortex. The action felt wrong. I considered and realized the problem was that there was no relief tied to the action. I didn't need the air. My lungs reacted indifferently to the influx.

I did not need the air, but I _liked_ it. I could taste the lovely dust motes and the taste of salt from the beach breeze coming through the open window. I took me a moment to remember that I was waiting for an answer. "Well?" He just kept staring at me. Deciding that he wasn't going to answer any time soon I jumped of the bed in one fluid movement and crossed to his cupboard where I knew there was a mirror on the inside of the door.

I opened it and gasped.

My first reaction was an unthinking pleasure. The alien creature in the glass was indisputably beautiful, every bit as beautiful as the Cullen's had been. She was fluid even in stillness, and her flawless face was pale as the moon against the frame of her dark, heavy hair. Her limbs were smooth and strong, skin glistening subtly, luminous as a pearl.

My second reaction was horror. Who _was_ she? At first glance, I couldn't find my face anywhere in the smooth, perfect planes of her features. And her eyes! This must be what Jacob meant about a freak show. I cast my mind back to my muddy human memories, it was like looking through a veil. I remember going over to the Cullen's one night, it was just me and Alice, everyone else was out hunting. That was where I'd first found out about how to create a vampire, about the transformation process. And- I shivered- the first time I heard about the Volturi. One bit of information suddenly jumped out at me. _Oh and the eyes! Even though I don't remember my human life, every time I looked at a mirror I nearly had a heart attack, which is saying something._

_They were blood red, only newborns have that colour red. 'Traditional' vampires have a duller red. Animal blood dilutes the colour faster, they darken up in few months, and they go amber first then gold. _I jolted back to the present and turned around to face Jake. "I am a sight for sore eyes huh?" I said with a crooked grin.

"Nice joke, Bella." He was still wearing the strangest expression on his face, like he wanted to say something but didn't know how. "What?" He opened his mouth then shut it with a _snap._ "Ugh, just spit it out Jacob." He opened his mouth again started to say something, then seemed to think better of it and asked. "When will they turn yellow?" I put my hands on my hips and walked over to him.

" In a few months, I guess I'm stuck with contact lenses until then. Now are you going to tell me what's _really_ wrong?"

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before answering. "W-were you, um, c-conscious while you transformed?" I deliberated for second whether or not to tell him the truth, I decided that he had a right to know. "Okay, will you promise not to get angry?" I could tell he took that as a yes as he suddenly collapsed on his bed. "You went through all that in silence?" He took a deep breath "Why?" I sat down next to him and saw him wrinkle his nose. This made me laugh. I paused to listen in wonder at the sound, almost like a babbling brook.

"What's funny?" He asked.

"Oh nothing, I'm just getting use to all this." He looked at expectantly at me. I sighed and said "Because I knew what it would do to you, and Jake I've hurt you enough without making you go through that. I just love you too much." He sat up and looked into my eyes. "Bella, you have got to get this through your head." He took my head in his too hot hands. I saw him shiver at the same time I did. "The only way and I mean _only_ way that you could ever hurt me is by hurting yourself."

"Fine, fine." I exclaimed. He looked at me with an uncomfortable expression. "What is it Jacob? Come on you can tell me." He took a deep breath and said.

"Are you, um, thirsty?" He gulped as he said this. Previously the burn in my throat had been a dull throb, but now that he had mentioned it, it came to the foremost part of my mind. I clutched at my throat and nodded. "Come on." He said, as he took my hand.

"Let's hunt."

Hunting with Jacob was one of the strangest things I'd ever done. And it was surprisingly, well, fun. We stole out his window, around to his tiny backyard and jumped his fence. Jacob went off to change and though I thought I had been used to him in his wolf form, through these eyes it quite shocking to see every single hair on his huge body or his huge, gleaming teeth in such detail.

"Ready?" I asked him. He nodded his great head. "Set?... Go." And we were off. I could now see why my worries of Edward hitting trees when he ran were unfounded. It was a peculiar feeling, the balance between speed and clarity. Because, while I rocketed over, under and through the thick jade maze at a rate that should of reduced everything to a streaky green blur, I could plainly see each tiny leaf on all the small branches of every insignificant shrub that I passed.

The wind of my speed blew my hair back and pressed the fabric of my shirt and jeans -the same ones in which Victoria had tortured me- against my body, and though I knew it shouldn't, it felt warm against my skin. Just as the rough forest floor shouldn't feel like velvet beneath my bare soles, and the limbs that whipped against my skin shouldn't feel like caressing feathers.

The forest was much more alive than I'd ever known- small creatures whose existence I'd never guessed at teemed in the leaves around me. They all grew silent after I passed- they didn't seem to mind Jacob running about 25 meters behind me- their breath quickening in fear. The animals had a much wiser reaction to my scent than humans did. Certainly, it'd had the opposite effect on me.

I kept waiting to feel winded, but my breath came out effortlessly. I waited for the burn to begin in my muscles, but my strength only seemed to increase as I grew accustomed to my stride. My leaping bounds stretched longer, and soon Jacob was so far behind I wouldn't been able to see him with human eyes. I laughed again. My naked feet touched the ground so infrequently that it felt more like flying then running.

I heard a bark from Jacob but nothing else. He had stopped. I briefly considered mutiny. But, with a sigh, I whirled and skipped back to him. He looked at me then stuck his tongue out. I got the message. _Stop here_ _unless you want to go to Canada today._ I grinned in return. He then shifted so that his head pointed to the right. I realised there must be something there he wanted me to see. So I closed my eyes and listened.

I heard the whisper of birds preening their feathers in the treetops, their fluttering heartbeats, the maple leaves scaping together, the faint clicking of ants following each other in a long line up the bark of the nearest tree. But I knew he meant something in particular, so I let my ears range out, seeking something different than the small hum of life that surrounded us. There was an open space near us- the wind had a different sound across the exposed grass- and a small creek, with a rocky bed.

And there, near the noise of the water, was the splash of lapping tongues, the loud thudding of heavy hearts, pumping thick streams of blood….It felt like the sides of my throat had been sucked closed.

"There's three elk? To the right?" He nodded. I took a deep breath through my nose and could suddenly smell Jake's disgusting, wet dog scent in full force but that wasn't all. I could also smell the rich, earthy smell of rot and moss, the resin in the evergreens, the warm, almost nutty aroma of the small rodents cowering beneath the tree roots. And then, reaching out again, the smell of clean water, which was surprisingly unappealing despite my thirst. I focused toward the water and found the scent that must have gone with the lapping noise and pounding heart.

Another warm smell rich and tangy, stronger than the others. And yet nearly as unappealing as the brook. I wrinkled my nose. I heard a deep, rumbling noise from inside Jake's chest, a chuckle. "So what do I do?" He raised one bushy brow. "Lousy werewolf." I muttered. I then closed my eyes and breathed in the scent. A bout of baking thirst intruded on my awareness, and suddenly, the warm, tangy odour wasn't quite so objectionable. At least it would be something hot and wet in my desiccated mouth. My eyes snapped open.

He gave me a look which I knew meant _well? _I felt myself drift with the scent, barely aware of my movement as I ghosted down the incline to the narrow meadow where the stream flowed. My body shifted forward automatically into a low crouch as I hesitated at the fern-fringed edge of the trees. I could see a big buck, two dozen antler points crowning his head, at the streams edge, and the shadow spotted shapes of the two others a couple of meters back.

I centered myself around the scent of the male, the hot spot in his shaggy neck where the warmth pulsed strongest. Only 30 meters away- two or three bounds- between us. But as my muscles bunched in preparation, the wind shifted, blowing stronger now, and from ahead of me. I didn't stop to think, hurtling out of the trees, scaring the elk into the forest, racing after a new fragrance so attractive that there wasn't a choice. It was compulsory.

The scent ruled completely. I was single minded as I traced it, aware only of the thirst and the smell that promised to quench it. My thirst got worse, so painful now that it confused all my other thoughts and began to remind me of the burn of venom in my veins.

There was no other thing that could break through my concentration now. Not even….. self-preservation. I flew to crest of a small hill and there at the bottom was the source of the scent. Two men in hikers gear were talking while pointing at a map that they held between them.

Within a second I was standing between them. They didn't even have time to look up as I snapped their necks. I then grabbed the closer one and brought his neck to my lips. Then it came, the delicious taste quenched all but a tiny bit of my thirst, I was finished with the first one within seconds and had all ready started the second one when Jake found me.

His presence was like a bucket of cold water. I immediately dropped the hiker and backed up the hill. Jacob had changed back to human and immediately pulled me into what I used to think was a bone crushing hug, but now felt like a soft caress. I then heard a strange, almost chocking noise. I tried to breathe in but the air got hitched in my throat, I then realised what the chocking noise was, it was me.

"It's all right Bella, hunny, it wasn't your fault." He crooned. I immediately pulled away from him. "Not my fault! Jacob do you realise what I've just done?" My tinkling voice was now edging towards hysteria. I collapsed to my knees. "I'm a killer, Jacob, a monster." I now understood what Edward-ow my chest- had been trying to tell me. Immortality was not worth it, even if I lived forever I would never forgive myself for this.

"Come on Bells lets go home." I looked up to him, deep concern was etched in his face. "No, we have to bury them first. I owe their families that much."

"Bella we can't do that, they might send out a search party. We'll have to burn them."

"Fine, o-okay." Jacob then picked up the hiker's bag and started rummaging through it. Until he found a lighter. Then he started picking up some twigs and pieces of bark. He then piled it all up and set it alight.

He sat down at the crest of the hill then. I went and joined him even though it made no difference whether I stood or sat I felt exactly the same. We sat there all through the night, watching the flames get higher and higher until there was almost nothing left. I was so repulsed by myself and wrapped up in what I did that I was actually shocked when Jacob suddenly stood up and said "Come on Bella we need to go home." I stood up and started walking down the hill with him but the mention of home I immediately thought of Charlie. I came to a standstill. Jacob looked back at me quizzically.

"It's okay Bella; you're going to be alright." I saw him take in my horrified expression. He immediately whipped around and peered into the surrounding forest. He turned backed to me. "What Bella?" His eyes were frantic. "What is it?" He hissed. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. He grabbed me by the arms and shook me. "Bella, come on you're freaking me out." Jake's voice was frantic by now.

"Ch-Charlie." I finally chocked out.

"What about him?"

"Jake, I- I can't go home like this."

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't go home to Charlie like this Jake. I'm a murderer, a killer, a." I took a deep breath. "I'm a monster." I tried not to think about why that was ironic.

He once again took my head in his too hot hands. "Listen to me Bella, you are NOT a monster. This." He waved back to the hill. "Was an accident, nothing more than an accident. Okay? It. Was. Not. Your. Fault! You can't control yourself anymore than I can control being a werewolf."

"But Jake, what if I can't control myself, _ever_." I'll never be able to see any human again Charlie, Renee, Billy any of my human friends. The enormity of the situation hit me. I sagged to my knees. Jacob bent so that we were face to face. "Bella, this _is_ going to work out okay? I swear it will." The conviction in his voice made me almost believe him.

"Fine, okay." I said defeated. "But." I asked with a grim smile. "Please _try_ not to think about this." He put his arm around my shoulders. "Sure Bells."

Jacob changed backed to wolf after that, but there was no fun running this time. The guilt was eating my insides, _Oh God_ I might have known them or at the very least Charlie might be called to find them. And it wasn't just that, they had had families and friends, memories and futures. The guilt punctured through my stomach to add on top of the hole through my chest that Edward had caused, soon I'd be riddled through like Swish cheese.

Too soon we were back at Jacob's house, suddenly overwhelming fear took hold of me. "Jake is your, um, is your dad home?" He had already changed back from werewolf to human. He sighed. "No Bella he's not." I then took a deep breath testing my surroundings. "Okay then, what now?"

"Well obviously you don't but seriously? I need to sleep."

"Okay."

The rest of the day past without and drama. Jacob fell asleep on the couch within seconds, I started to watch some cooking show but soon became sick of it. I was still to wrapped up in the horror of what I had done, Then I heard something that scared me so bad, if I was human I probably would've had a heart attack. I heard tires coming down the driveway.

I jumped to my feet in one fluid motion, and shook Jacob awake in the next. "Jake, Jake I've got to get out of here." He sat up sleepily.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Your dad's here." I saw understanding flash in his eyes and his full lipped mouth make an O of surprise. "Can you smell him?" I had firmly closed my mouth the second I'd realised what was happening. I shook my head. "Bella, I know this sounds crazy but I _want_ you to breathe in. Will you for me?" I shook my head again. How could Jacob even _think_ that?

"Bella, sweetheart you _can_ do this." He stepped closer to me. "I believe in you." Those simple words had the strangest and deepest effect on me. I don't know how to describe it, maybe it was the fact that Jacob was willing to risk his father's life just to help me over come this, I don't know. But I suddenly trusted him to stop me from doing anything I might regret.

"Take hold of me?" He stood behind me and grabbed my arms tightly. But I knew that I was stronger than him and could easily get out from his hold. The seconds ticked by slowly. I heard the car stop, then a door slam and footsteps against the wet grass. Next I heard someone helping Billy into his chair, then footsteps coming closer and closer to the door. Until someone put the key in the lock, the door creaked as it swung open.

Next thing I knew Billy was wheeling himself into the room with Seth right behind him. I froze. Billy was staring at Jacob and me like he couldn't believe what he was seeing, Seth looked like he understood what was going on but had no idea why. Jacob then put his mouth to my ear and whispered. "Come on I believe in you Bella." Once again those little insignificant words had that inexplicable effect on me. So locking down my muscles, I took a deep breath.

It was like a white-hot iron had been shoved down my throat. But I managed to stay where I was. I couldn't believe I was doing this, that I _could_ do whatever reason my self-control had grown within the last couple of hours. I was so happy that if I was human I would have cried. Ever since the hikers I had come to terms with the fact that I would never see any humans again. The force of my joy was amazing, knowing that I could have _everyone_ that I loved in my life. Well_ almost _everyone I amended.

My entire realisation and moment of happiness had taken place within a second. So Billy was still looking between me and Jake with a confused and almost well, _fearful _expression on his face. I decided to break the uncomfortable silence. "Hey, Billy."

He looked surprise at my apparent control and offered at weak smile. "Hey, Bella. You look, um, better." I realised that the last time he saw me must have been after Victoria had tortured and bitten me.

"Thanks." I smiled warmly back at him. I then felt Jacob's hands loosen around mine.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Nothing unmanageable." He then spun me around to face him.

"Really?" It was hard to miss the sceptism in his voice.

"I'm fully in control." Then to my utter amazement….he kissed me.

I dimly heard Billy and Seth gasp at the exactly same time but the majority of my vast attention was focused on Jacob and his lips, like an open flame against mine. But it was wrong so wrong, finally I couldn't take it anymore and lightly pushed against him. He staggered back a few feet.

He seemed- for once- at a total lost for words. Like he couldn't believe what he'd just done and quite frankly I was having a hard time believing it. "I- I'm sorry Bella." I just nodded dumbly. Billy then cleared his throat loudly, I spun around quickly. I was waiting for my face to go a bright tomato red. But it never would again. "I-I." Billy just raised his hand to stop me. "You don't have to say anything Bella. Really it's fine." He looked back to Seth and said "Let's go. You hungry Seth?" Seth was just staring at Jacob uncomprehendingly. "Come on." He then grabbed Seth's sleeve as he wheeled to the kitchen.

I turned back to Jacob. Who was still looking at me unbelievingly. "Um, no offence or anything but what the hell was that?" I couldn't help the anger that leaked into my voice. What did he think he was doing? After all I had done and been through in the last 24 hours why did he have to add our twisted relationship on top of it?

"I'm sorry Bella. I don't know what came over me." Ugh _that _obvious. I took a deep breath which sent flames down my throat. I winced. "Fine, it's okay. But Jake you must realise that we_ can't work._ Especially now." He nodded at the floor.

I took another deep breath, but the flames weren't as bad as they were a moment ago. "Okay then, Jake?" I called his name because he was still staring at the floor but he looked up as I said it. "I want." Oh man, I couldn't believe I was asking this but considering what had just happened and how my apparent control seemed to be getting better every second I knew it had to be done. "I want to go home. To Charlie."

"Are you sure? I mean I know you won't hurt him but don't you think he'll be a little um, shocked at your new look?" I had already thought of this, I wasn't very happy with it but it was the only answer I had come up with.

I told him my idea, his mood immediately perked up, "Bella that's the most insane plan I've ever heard." He grinned at me. "I love it."

"Oh." I said suddenly remembering. "I'll need to borrow some sunglasses."

The drive up seemed to take forever, I still wasn't over Jacob kissing me but I thought now that I can still have Charlie and everyone else in my life why let one kiss ruin it? I was still filled with self-loathing after what I'd done, but I swore to myself that I would make up for it, I would. We finally made it to Charlie's my trucks roar alerting him of our presence.

He came out and stood on the porch- I was praying it would stay overcast this would be hard enough without him seeing me sparkle. The second I got out of my truck I saw Charlie freeze, his eyes taking in my new appearance. "Hey, dad." I suddenly realised how off my voice was. And immediately tried talking in a 'rougher' voice. "How are you?" It was still way off but it was the best I could manage.

He opened his mouth as if to speak but couldn't seem to get a word out. Ugh, well I might as well get this over with. "Ready?" I asked Jacob in voice too low for Charlie to hear. He gave me a curt nod. "Um, dad can we take a walk with you?" That seemed to snap him out of his ravine. "S-sure." I then turned and walked into the forest.

Once we were far enough in that no one would see or hear us I turned to Charlie. "Well, obviously you're wondering about my, um, appearance." He nodded. "I'm really sorry about this but I can't explain it all but I'll tell you as much as I can."

I then turned to Jacob. "Jake? Will you show Charlie what you are?" He nodded at me once then started to take off the cut-off jeans he was wearing. Charlie seemed to find his voice by now. "Wait, wait what's going on?" I suppressed a sigh.

"Dad, I'm trying to show you that. You don't live in the world you thought you did. I'm just trying to help you understand." I nodded at Jake but adverted my eyes as did Charlie while he took his pants off, then after a moment's hesitation he phased.

If the situation wasn't so serious Charlie's reaction would've been comical. He gasped then fell onto the forest floor. Then raised a shaky hand at Jake as if to ward him off. I nodded at Jake again and he phased back to human. He pulled his pants on then walked over to Charlie as if to help him up, but he gasped and spluttered and tried to crawl away. "Jake give him a moment." I told him. We watched Charlie's face go from bone white, to green, to purple and eventually normal. "Charlie I am a were-." Jake had stopped because at the mention of werewolf Charlie had clapped his hands over his ears, like a five year old.

He then slowly got to his feet and turned to me. "Y-you can't t-turn into a a-animal can you?" Suddenly Jacob burst out laughing. "She….wishes….she….was…..that…..cool." He said between fits of laughter. I smiled warmly at Charlie and said. "No I can't and who would want to be a dirty great wolf anyway?" Charlie immediately paled at the mention of wolf. But it sobered Jake up enough to give me a hurt look "Anyway do you want to see what I can do?" This is where it all came down to whether or not Charlie wanted to know.

Once again Charlie's face went from death white, to green, to purple. He then shook his head and said. "No, no, I don't want to. Whatever 'this' is can we keep it on a need-to-know basis only?" I breathed a sigh of relief. I smiled at him again.

"Sure Dad."

"But, you will stay around right? I mean you still have to go to school and everything." I froze at that, I couldn't believe it but I had totally forgotten about school and work, I mean with all the insane and sickening stuff going around I guess I had a really good reason to forget. But I nodded anyway, he let out a sigh of relief. "Well okay then." He said smiling at me.

In the next few weeks nothing in particular happened, I lived with Charlie; I made him dinner- he never commented at my lack of appetite- I did normal ordinary things. But I also learned to hunt animals, I went to Seattle and bought 200 boxes of contact lenses- I soon realised that the venom in my eyes disintegrated them within 4 hours- the were a muddy brown, not exactly my previous colour but I guess it would have to do. Then, it seemed like a blink of an eye, it was time for school.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, it seemed that my control was getting better everyday. Sure the flames licked down my throat every time I breathed but it was manageable. Surely it wasn't as bad as the looks and stares I got. This was exactly the audience I would have gotten when I came here if I had been the most interesting person at school. I sat down with my friends and talked about meaningless non-essential things. Ignoring the curious glances being frequently thrown my way.

I talked to Angela and Mike, they didn't comment on my appearance but I could see Mike raking me with his eyes. None of my teachers made any comment on it but I did see a few curious looks and occasionally one of fear. Over all I was quite pleased with my self, maybe everything could work out. Maybe.


	4. Chapter 4

**The New Isabella Swan**

**Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own any of the Twilight books.**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 4:** I talked to Angela and Mike, they didn't comment on my appearance but I could see Mike raking me with his eyes. None of my teachers made any comment on it but I did see a few curious looks and occasionally one of fear. Over all I was quite pleased with myself, maybe everything could work out. Maybe.

Seventy years later.

Ugh school again, I thought. I was sitting in my bedroom in my small house, in Forks, Washington. It had been seventy years since I had become a vampire and a few things had changed. The most saddening part of being a vampire is watching my family grow old, then die while I stay at 18 forever. But I still had Jacob and Sarah his wife. It was a relief that Jacob had imprinted on Sarah I was so worried that I would spend eternity with him in his deluded world where we could work.

But five years ago Sarah had come down to the reserve to see her grandmother and Jake had seen her and imprinted. After about 30 years of peacefulness and no vampires the pack had disbanded so everyone could age with their loved ones. I of course never found anyone, vampire or human, Edward was and is still the love of my life. Jake had often teased me and asked now that I had forever, why not go find him? But I couldn't bring myself to not when he had all his 'distractions' to occupy himself with.

I was back at Forks now; I had travelled a bit and gone to college a few times. But I had missed Jake- and if I was being honest with myself- I had missed the connection to Edward that this place had. I didn't live in Charlies house anymore even though he left it to me in his will. Because it would draw too much attention when I claimed to be a different person even though I was keeping my name. Isabella Swan. When I had told Jake that he had said I was the new Isabella Swan.

I got up and walked outside to my car, a tiny beat up red hatchback (becoming a vampire still hadn't increased my enthusiasm of cars) and quickly drove to school. The car park was almost full I grabbed a spot and swiftly walked inside. I had already been here for a year, so it was no shock to the other students when I walked to my first class- English- this year I was in year 11. The day past drearily, I sat at the back of every class and the teachers rarely called on me- repeating school over and over had made it so that I was getting A's in everything, even calculus. Also the photographic memory helped a lot. I planned on going over to Jacob's later, he was always hankering for me to come.

I slowly walked to the cafeteria, where I would sit at a table by myself, usually reading and eat nothing. I took a deep breath- ever since the hikers I always took extra precautions- and that's when I noticed. I was standing in the doorway to the cafeteria all around me humans were chattering away but they weren't the only species in the room. There on the furthest table from where I was standing were…._the Cullen's._

I froze. I couldn't believe that after all this time they would come back. I greedily drank them in. Rosalie, looking as much a golden supermodel as ever. Emmett, huge and menacing. Jasper, lean and blonde but through these eyes even from across the cafeteria I could see the criss-crossing scars that covered his body. Alice, as small as a pixie and her dark halo of spikes. And…Edward. My heart broke at the sight of him. Looking like a forgotten god of beauty, his gorgeous bronze hair as messy as ever.

This had taken place within a second so they still hadn't realised I was there. I knew I should go over there and confront him, demand to know why he was here. But I knew I was still as much a coward I had been when I'd first met him and wanted to know what his problem was. So like the coward I was, I ran as fast as I could without drawing attention to myself back the way I had came.

I eventually made it to my car and jumped inside. I already had the key in the ignition and was speeding down the road within seconds. But then a thought struck me, why should I run away from him? I had built some happiness that was the scraps of my life after he left and had no intention of ruining it. The second he realises that I was here he'll probably leave anyway, I though to myself. Having made this decision I sharply turned the car around and started to speed back.

I made it back with seconds to spare of my next class, biology. I was just at the door when I realised there was a good chance I would have this class with Edward, I briefly considered running again but a voice behind me stopped me. "Look lively Miss Swan." Said my biology teacher Mr Eriksson. I spun around and muttered

"Sorry sir." I took a deep breath- the flames which had once tortured me had been almost completely muted- then marched into the room.

**EPOV**

I stared around the white walls of my room. It was almost completely bare except for a small gray couch on the left wall and a small cupboard on the right. I had thrown all my CD's in the bin after leaving Bella they reminded me of her too much. But then everything did. Even after 70 years the longing and pain of leaving her was still in full force.

I stared blankly out the window, not really seeing the meadow or forest beyond it. I don't know what caused me to allow my family to move back here, where the memory of her was strongest. Perhaps I was just tired of their pity and in doing this convincing them that I had moved on. I don't know. I turned and swiftly walked out the door to see my entire family in the hallway. I had previously been tuning out their thoughts but this strange gathering bemused me. _Oh God he still looks like crap._ Thought Rosalie._ Maybe this wasn't the best idea, he'll never get over her._ Esme's kind thought forced a response out of me. "I'm fine, I assure you. We better go soon don't want to be late for our first day."

I knew that they didn't believe me without even listening to their thoughts. "Fine but I'm driving." Said Rosalie. I shrugged and didn't contest her, I had sold the Volvo after a few years of leaving Bella, it like everything else reminded me of her too much. We all piled in to her Aston Martin DB9 and sped off. We were fairly early, we all had to get our new timetables and be shown around the school like all new students.

When we were released I checked out my new timetable, I had Calculus first then Spanish and after lunch I had Biology. Very average and very boring. The day past quickly and before I knew it, it was lunch time. We all sat at a table and talked about boring, mundane things. I payed no attention to them I was years away, 70 years to be exact. When I had first seen Bella. Suddenly, I remembered that I had had Biology after lunch back then as well.

I quietly mused over this strange coincidence until the bell went. I walked slowly to Biology, while I was passing a window which looked out onto the car park. I saw a red hatchback drive too fast into a spot, a brown haired girl got out and quickly but gracefully walked inside. This, for some unknown reason, got me thinking of Bella again and how she had been so clumsy she was nearly handicapped.

This brought a smile to my face and an aching to my heart as I continued to slowly walk to class. Class had already started when I walked through the door and brought my slip to the balding middle-aged teacher. He quickly signed it and motioned me to find a seat as he continued his lecture. I quickly scanned the crowd and found the seat he had indicated it was next to the brunette girl I had seen earlier, she had her head down as she searched through her bag for something. I started to walk to her, I was for some unknown reason, very curious about why she had come so late, I went to scan her thoughts but all I got was…silence. I was shocked, I continued to walk towards her but as I did she looked up.

**BPOV**

I quickly scanned the room for any sign of him. I sighed in relief- and if I was honest- disappointment. I knew it was stupid and wrong but a part of me wanted him to be here and to see me. Because maybe now that I was beautiful and fast like him he wouldn't find me so boring and uninteresting. I went and sat at my usual seat at the back and started to take my things out. I was digging through my bag for my ruler when I heard him.

I heard his whisper quiet footsteps against the floorboards. I heard him hand over a slip of paper to Mr Eriksson, and had it signed. Then, I could of sworn my frozen heart pumped just once inside my chest, I heard him start moving closer to me. I realised with a jolt that the only spare seat was the one next to me. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I looked up at him. I saw him freeze and his mouth open in surprise, once again I drank in his appearance, his toffee coloured eyes, his full lipped mouth.

A throat clearing from Mr Eriksson brought me out of my ravine and apparently Edward's too. He jolted slightly, so slightly that a human wouldn't have noticed. He squared his shoulders and marched towards me. Oh god I can't do this, I thought desperately. I shifted my chair as far away from him as I could as he sat down to my left. I swung my hair over my shoulder, just like I had when I was human, to create a curtain between us.

"Bella?" His voice was so low that none of the humans would hear. I took a long, deep breath and slowly let it out before turning to him and saying. "Yes Edward?"

He seemed shocked at my words. Which I guess is reasonable. The human girl he had once been in love with but then lost interest in he now meets 70 years later as a vampire and she says. 'Yes Edward?' Ironic, huh?

"I-I, how? W-when….." He trailed off, obviously at lost for words. I sighed.

"No offence, Edward but can we talk about this later? I actually want to concentrate on the work." I said briskly. That seemed to shake him. He shook his head a few times the replied. "Of course Bella I'm so sorry from keeping you learning. I'm sure you need it." He said icily.

We pasted the lesson in a stony silence. Once the bell went he was out the door before I had even packed up. I did slowly though not wanting to run into him again (or any of the other Cullen's for that matter) and walked to gym. Thankfully I had actually gained the speed and gracefulness that vampires had. So I was now amazingly good at whatever sport they threw me in. But it didn't mean I actually liked it.

Today we were doing volleyball, which brought the embarrassingly painful memories of my first few days here. Then a murky human memory leaped out at me. _Edward, coming closer and closer to me until his hand brushed along my cheek in front of the gym._ I ripped myself into the present, what was the point of agonizing of these memories when it would never or could ever be?

The bell went and I slowly walked to my car, there was almost no one there. I got in a drove home, I was very fortunate that the tearless sobs that racked my body as I huddled into a ball in the corner of my living room, only started once I got home.

**EPOV**

Bella, I thought, my beautiful, warm, fragile Bella was a soulless monster of the night. I felt sick to my core as I almost ran to the car. I quickly got in and huddled on the seat while the rest of my family slowly ambled towards me. _I guess he found out about Bella, God you'd think he would be happy._ That was Emmett. _How come I didn't see it? I mean I know I haven't seen her in years but this must of happened right after we left. I should have seen it! _Alice's thought seemed to jump out at me. The second she was in the car I turned on her.

"Why didn't you _see _this Alice? Maybe not her being here but we she got changed? She still looks eighteen!" We were speeding down the highway by now. Alice was rubbing her temples with a strained expression on her face. "I don't know! I can _see _her now. But even without intentionally looking out for her I should have _seen _something this big!" I scanned her thoughts. Bella was in her house on the other side of Forks in a ball…..sobbing.

That image tore at my frozen heart. "Why is she crying?" I asked perplexed. She fixed me with an exasperated look. "You know as well as I do that I only _see _the future _not _the reasons behind it. But my guess would be because she still loves you." I froze. Could it possibly be true? Even after all the hurt I did to her could she still possibly love me? No, I thought it couldn't be true after all I did tell her I didn't love her. Even though it was the blackest kind of blasphemy imaginable.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Alice tugging at my arm. "Come on we need to talk to Carlisle about this." She said. We ran up the stairs in a flash, then Alice called in voice no more than a whisper. "Carlisle? Esme?" They were in front of us in a second. "I think we need to call a family meeting." I said. Carlisle looked confused and there was worry deep in Esme's eyes but they agreed and soon everyone was in the dining room, seated around the table. "Okay." I said looking at Carlisle and Esme. "Here's the thing Bella's here and she's well a…a vampire."

Esme gasped. "How did this happen?" She asked. I thought back to my brief conversation with Bella. "I don't know she wasn't exactly happy to see me." I said regretfully. "What?" Said Esme. "I thought she understood why we had to leave?" Her uncertainty made the statement a question. "Yes she did but…well." I couldn't say it. I couldn't bear to see the shock and resentment that those words would cause.

"Edward?" Asked Esme. "What exactly did you say to Bella in the forest?" I thought back to that dreadful, God forsaken day. When I had willingly ripped my heart out of my chest.

"_Come for a walk with me." I had said in a dull emotionless tone as I took her hand. I didn't wait for an answer and pulled her along toward the forest. I only went a few steps into the trees, before letting go of her hand and leaning against a tree. "Okay let's talk." She had said her voice brave. I took a deep breath and said._

"_Bella, we're leaving." She then took a deep breath too, and then said._

"_Why now? Another year-"I cut her off quickly._

"_Bella it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks after all? Carlisle can barely past for thirty and he's claiming to be thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless._

_Her expression was confused, and then suddenly understanding flashed in her eyes. I stared at her coldly. "When you say _we_-," She whispered but she may as well as yelled it. "I mean my family and myself." I said each word separate and distinct, I knew my voice was cold but on the inside I was burning. She then shook her head back and forth mechanically as though trying to clear it. We waited a few minutes in silence before she said. "Okay. I'll come with you."_

"_You can't, Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you."_

"_Where you are is the right place for me." She said back stubbornly._

"_I'm no good for you Bella." It was the first true thing I had said yet._

"_Don't be ridiculous." She begged. "You're the very best part of my life."_

"_My world is not for you." I said grimly._

"_What happened with Jasper- that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" Her saying my name like that was like knives into my skin. "You're right." I agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."_

"_You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-"_

"_As long as that was best for you." I interrupted_

"_NO! This is about my soul, isn't it?" She shouted, furious but still managing to sound like a plea. The knives digged deeper into me. "Carlisle told me about that, I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you- it's yours already!"_

_I took a deep breath and stared unseeingly at the ground, preparing myself for the hours of lying I would have to do to get her to believe the blasphemy coming out of my mouth. I finally looked up at her my expression hard. "Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I spoke the words slowly and precisely, my cold eyes watching her expression. Then understanding and pain flashed in her eyes. The knives twisted themselves in my side._

"_You…don't….want me?" She said uncomprehendingly. I suppressed a gulp. "No." I might as well as ripped my heart out and set it alight. She looked at me with large eyes. I stared back at her without an apology. I couldn't believe she couldn't see the contradiction in my eyes. "Well, that changes things." Her voice was calm and reasonable, I had to fight to keep the shock off my face. I had expected to have to lie for hours before she believed me._

_How could she believe that one simple word above all the times I had told her I loved her? I looked into the trees as I said my next words so I didn't have to see the expression on her face but also because I was having trouble keeping mine a cold mask. When, really, I wanted to fall at her feet and beg for forgiveness. "Of course, I'll love you…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realise that it's time for a change. Because I'm…._tired _of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I looked back at her, my expression- I hoped- was not human. Hoping against hope that she would believe the lie, but also praying she would see through it._

"_I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."_

"_Don't." She said. "Don't do this." She had NO IDEA how much I didn't want to but it was necessary to keeping her safe and have a normal life. I already had made my decision and I saw her see that. Her words were far too late. "You're no good for me, Bella." She opened her mouth to say something, and then closed it again. I waited patiently, my face wiped clean of any emotion. Then she said. "If that's what you want." I nodded once._

"_I would like to ask one favour, though, if that's not too much." The blank look on her face sent the knives straight to my heart and for a second my composure slipped but then I reminded myself that this was best for her. And I composed my features again. "Anything." She vowed._

_I felt myself slip again as I intensely stared into her eyes. "Don't do anything reckless or stupid." I ordered her. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" She nodded. I suppressed a sigh of relief. And I hid my emotions from my face. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself- for him." She nodded again. _

"_I will." She whispered. I relaxed infinitesimally._

"_And I'll make you a promise in return." I said. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." I was promising this more to myself then her._

_Her knees started to shake. I smiled gently at her. "Don't worry. You're human- your memory is nothing more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind." It sound like she was choking as she said. "And your memories?" She asked._

"_Well." I hesitated. I would never, ever forget her. I would remember her forever, the knives twisted deeper into me. "I won't forget. But _my_ kind…..we're very easily distracted." I smiled._

_I took a step away from her. "That's everything I suppose. We won't bother you again." Saying _we_ seemed to spike her attention._

"_Alice isn't coming back." She said so quiet that I was surprised she could hear it. I shook my head slowly, watching her expression. "No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye._

"_Alice is gone?" She asked her voice blank with disbelief._

"_She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." Her expression flickered at my words._

"_Goodbye, Bella." I said in the same quiet, peaceful voice._

"_Wait!" She choked out. She reached towards me and I saw a flicker of hope cross her face as my hands locked around her wrists and pinned them to her sides. I leaned down and lightly pressed my lips to her forehead for the briefest instant. She closed her eyes. "Take care of yourself." I breathed. Than I ran._

_Love, life, meaning….over._

I jolted back to the present, my family were still looking at me anxiously. "I told her that…..I, um ….didn't love her any…..anymore." It was just as I'd feared, Esme gasped again. Alice's expression went blank. Everyone was speechless. "Oh, Edward, why?" Esme finally said. I dry swallowed.

"You didn't see what it was like. She wasn't going to let go. It was the only way to keep her safe."

"Okay we have established that Edward is an idiot, but the _real _problem is what are you going to do now?"

"What do you mean? What am I going to do now?" Alice sighed in exasperation.

"Edward can't you see the possibilities?" She sighed again and answered her own question. "No I guess _you _can't" I was bemused. _Can't you see the possibilities. _Quite frankly I had no idea what she was talking about. I scanned her thoughts to make sense of her.

I was shocked at what I saw. _Bella and I standing in front of a church, her in a white gown and me in a black tuxedo. Bella and I holding hands in a small living room. Bella slowly walking towards me, our lips meeting. _Vision after vision flash before me, then as one showed us getting particularly intimate I couldn't take it anymore. I ripped out of her head and yelled. "Stop!" The visions ceased.

Alice's were bright with excitement, while I had no idea what my face looked like it seemed to be worrying the others. "What was the point of _that?" _I spat. She looked like she was suppressing another sigh. "Just so you could choose the right decision."

"There is no decision to make. I meant what was the point of showing me that when it won't happen anyway?" Her bottom lip jutted out and she put her small hands on her petite hips. "And _why _won't it?" I collapsed in a chair.

"Because she doesn't love me." I moaned.

"And how do you know that?" She asked. I briefly glanced at my family standing around us, all with confused expressions. "Alice." I said to them. "Believes that Bella and I can still be together." Esme's expression turned from one of confusion to one of worry instantly. "How do you know that she doesn't love you?" She asked.

"Because when I saw her today we were sitting next to each other and after I called her name the first thing out of her mouth was 'Yes Edward?' and she wouldn't speak to me after that."

"Oh Edward." Exclaimed Esme as she draped her arms around me. I shrugged out of her hold as I stood up. "It's fine she's probably met someone anyway." As soon as I said that I saw Bella standing in front of an alter with a faceless vampire by her side. This image drudged up al the old resentment and jealousy I had felt for the boring, mundane human boys of Forks high school 70 years ago. Alice then spoke up. "Edward I- ." Her face suddenly went blank and her mouth slack. I was by her side in an instant.

"What Alice. What is it?" I heard Jasper say. But I was too wrapped up in her head to care. I saw Bella getting up from her ball to answer the phone. She spoke a few words then hung up. Time skipped a little bit, as the next thing we saw was Bella in different clothes opening her door then…nothing.

I opened my eyes and whipped around to Alice. Her eyes were wide and fearful. "What does it mean?" I asked. She shook her head back and forth a few times before saying. "I don't know I can't see." Everyone one froze. This was unbelievable, we all had thought Alice's visions, while changeable, were always true and current.

She was still looking for Bella's future, but she couldn't see a thing, it was like the second she opened the door she had been enveloped in darkness. Something clicked in my head. "Why did she open her door? She must have been answering it for someone and whoever it was is blocking your visions." I said to her. Her eyes were halfway here and the future. Suddenly they cleared.

"But who could do that? I've never had problems before." Her eyes suddenly went huge. "This must be why I didn't see her change this…._thing._Has been blocking my vision ever since we left. It's why I didn't see her change." Esme looked at me as she said. "But what or _who_ could do that? And if you're right and it's the reason you didn't see her before then they must be immortal." I didn't care what they were only that Bella was in the presence of _something _unnatural, therefore possibly dangerous and Alice couldn't see her so I had no way of knowing if she was safe.

I was out the door before I had realised I'd moved.


	5. Chapter 5

**The New Isabella Swan**

**BPOV**

**Chapter 5:** "Are you sure you're okay?" Jake asked for the tenth time. I suppressed a sigh as we quickly drove down to his house on the reservation. I thought I had recovered somewhat since my little breakdown earlier but since seeing the expression on my best friends face, I guess I didn't look like it. "Yes, I'm sure." I said as I pulled my arms tighter around my torso.

He exhaled slowly. "No you're not, not as long as _he's _here." I stared out the window into the downpour, I knew he was right and he knew I knew he was right but I decided I didn't need to make him worry but admitting to it. "So did he even _try _to talk to you?" My mind immediately jumped to our brief conversation in biology and his shocked, even- did I imagine it? - hurt expression. I turned to look at Jacob. "Can we please not talk about it?" I said pleadingly.

"Fine, for now." I closed my eyes and decided not to press it. We made it to his house in the next few minutes, Sarah was already outside waiting for us. Jacob quickly strode over to her and kissed her lightly on the lips while wrapping his arms around her slim waist. She really was beautiful, I thought almost jealously, stop it Bella this is what you wanted, I told myself sternly. But she was, truly beautiful.

From far away she seemed to have light brown almost blonde hair, but if you really looked you could see red, orange and every shade of brown and blonde imaginable falling in soft curls around her tan face. Her almond eyes were so dark blue they appeared grey. Her full lips curved up in a smile as Jake but his arms around her waist and whispered. "I love you." In her ear. My heart throbbed painfully at the sight of them, because it reminded me of Edward and me a thousand lifetimes ago.

"How are you Bella?" She asked, concern in her dark eyes. Jake stood up at that and walked over to me. "She's had a hard day." He said. Giving Sarah a look that conveyed a thousand messages. We slowly walked into his small house and into the living room that looked shockingly like his old one. Jake and Sarah sat on the couch together holding hands, I sat on the loveseat in the corner even though it felt the same as standing.

"Well I'm going to start dinner." Said Sarah quickly standing and heading to the kitchen but not before she gave Jake a long look. He then stood and came over to me and sat on the arm of the chair, his large form would have barely fit into loveseat by himself. Then stared deep into my eyes as he said. "You know you can stay here for as long as you want." I knew what he really meant. _You can't hide here forever. _I glumly looked at the floor. "I won't stay here for long, in fact I think I might go now." I said getting up. Shock flickered across his face. "No." The level of authority in his voice frightened me.

"Jake, he's probably left by now." Left with his _distractions_, I thought sullenly. I saw indecision in his eyes. I could tell he still had the urge to protect me even though we both knew there was only one thing that could hurt me now. _Someone, _I mentally corrected myself.

He seemed to physically deflate as he said. "Fine, but _you must call me when you get home._" The intensity of his stare seemed to burn through me.

"Jake, _you're _the one that needs protection."

"Sure, sure."

Since Jake had driven me I had to run back- not that I minded- it was still raining so I was drenched within seconds. I set off into the bush and was soon far away from his penetrating gaze through the curtains. I slowed to a human walk then, not particularly happy to go home. I was about half-way home when I smelt something, something eerily familiar, but I was sure I'd never smelt it before, in the middle of a clearing.

It was a track, that much I was sure, I just had no idea what being could have caused it. It had an almost-honey-lilac-and-sun-flavoured taste as I breathed it in. It was familiar yet alien somehow. It reminded me of sitting in my room with Edward. Then it clicked…Edward. I heard the soft footsteps just as I realised what it was.

"Bella." Said hauntingly beautiful, yet husky voice behind me. I spun around in the blink of an eye….Edward.

My heart shattered into tiny pieces of glass slowly tearing me up from the inside. I tried to say something but all that came out was a gurgled sob. Something flitted across his face but it was gone before I had a chance to identify it. He took an almost unconscious step towards me, his arms slightly raised. That shook me out of my frozen state. I took a hasty step back and raised my hands, palms up to him even though we were almost three meters apart.

"Don't" I managed to choke out. He immediately stopped and his hands fell to his sides. "Bella…I." He seemed as unable to get his words out as me. I pushed down a sob at his tortured expression. He then took a long shaky breath and said. "How did this happen?" It was still raining, making him look like his torment had caused the heavens to open and spill his sorrows apon the world.

"This?" I said gesturing to my gorgeous immortal body. He nodded mutely. I laughed without humour. "Hmm I guess it would be _quite _the mystery, since _you weren't there_." He winced at my words. "Well since you asked, I became a soulless monster of the night a few months after you left. It was Harry Clearwater's funeral and everyone was the there, including the pack and I…" I stopped at the murderous expression on his face.

"Pack?" He said through clenched teeth. Oh crap, I thought. "Um, yeah. My best friend, Jacob? I was just at his house, yeah well he's kind of a…." I gulped. "A werewolf." I could see the supreme effort he was employing not to lose his temper. "You….were…best friends….with a….werewolf?" I nodded dumbly.

"Why?" The question confused me. What did he mean _why? _He started to pace the clearing and continued to say why under his breath. I then realised that he was talking to himself. "For the record he wasn't a werewolf when I met him." I said in a small voice. I stopped his pacing and turned to me. "Why, Bella why? Why do you _have _to be the biggest danger magnet in history?" He ran a hand through his gorgeous hair. "You now seem to even be able to pull extinct monsters back to life."

Ouch. "Me? You really think _I_ was the reason none of those boys got to have a proper life?" Something flashed in his eyes and if I didn't know better I would have thought it was concern. "Edward isn't it obvious? The reasons the werewolf's came back is because the vampires did." I had realised this fact a few weeks after my transformation. Surprise forced his eyebrows up. "Hmm Carlisle will be interested to hear that. Nonetheless, please continue."

"Right, well the pack." I paused to read his expression, waiting for the murderous expression to come back. He seemed calm so I continued. "They were at a tribal elder's funeral and I was on the beach…alone." I saw his hand clench so his veins showed against his marble skin and hurriedly continued.

"I had been walking up and down it for a while then…..then she spoke." I saw him open his mouth so taking a deep breath I whispered. "Victoria." He froze.

It took a while but eventually he hissed. "Victoria was here?"

"She came back a few months after you…..left." Something indescribable flashed in his golden eyes. I grimaced as I remembered that day. Then I told him.

I told him about our brief conversation, my torture- when I mentioned that he froze again- the wolfs coming, Jake and Sam's conversation and all the others I heard while burning, I told him how I awoke but there I stopped. "What happened then?" He asked. Suddenly I was over taken by the memory of that day, the sights, the smells and above all the gut wrenching guilt that I had kept for so long it was apart of me.

Then it stopped. I realised I was on the ground and Edward was holding me in his arms, his eyes frantic as he said. "Bella? Oh God, Bella. Come on." The second I realised where I was, my breathing stopped, in a flash I was out of his arms and across the meadow. His mouth opened and his hand slowly reached out towards me, but he then seemed to realise what he was doing. His hand dropped and he looked at the floor as he said. "I'm so sorry Bella, please forgive me." His scorching topaz pleading as he looked up at me. "You just…ah scared me." He said this like he was confessing an embarrassing secret.

"I'm sorry, it's just…what happened afterwards it was worst day of my life, worst then Victoria's torture or the burning." I would have said his face was murderous but that wasn't enough it was beyond it. And if I had to admit it I was terrified by the sight of it. "_What?"_ He hissed between clenched teeth. "Could _possibly _be worst then this?" Suddenly he was in front of me, he grabbed my wrist in his iron grip even though I was now as strong as him I didn't try to stop him. Mostly because I was petrified and also- if I was honest- his warm hand around my wrist felt incredibly good.

"Well, it was the first time I'd ever been hunting. I was with Jake, but I was being stupid and ran off ahead of him…We stopped at a glade, for some elk and I was just getting ready to pounce when I smelt it…" I had to stop here, even after seven decades that day and that smell still haunted me day and night. Edward, his eyes bright with curiosity then whispered. "Yes?" I took a shaky breath and cast my eyes down to my feet as I whispered in a voice so quiet even I could barely hear it. "Humans." Just like I expected his entire body went rigid except for his mouth which formed a little _O _of surprise.

We stayed like that for a while, neither of us breathing, the minuets slowly ticked by. Then like a statue coming to life, he slowly reached towards my face. Then he grabbed my chin and tilted my head so I had to look into his eyes. "Bella do even _remember _what I told you about my life? You have slipped up once in seventy years, I spent a _decade_ rouge." I knew he was right that my one mistake was nothing compared to his but that still didn't sooth me.

I stepped away from him. His expression became unreadable again. "So?" I asked. "Why does that matter? Why would it matter if every vampire in existents killed someone? All that matters is that _I _killed two people because of _you_." That was a low blow, I knew it and not necessarily true but him suggesting that killing two people, taking them away from everything they knew just to satisfy my thirst was any less horrific simply because _he _had done it had infuriated me.

Once those dreadful words were out of my mouth he staggered back like I had slapped him. Then it seemed like all the fight had gone out of him. His shoulders sagged as he said. "You're right I'm so sorry Bella this is my entire fault." His pain and obvious guilt felt like a knife in my stomach. "I'm sorr-." Before I could even get it out he raised his hand to stop me.

"Don't apologise, Bella. You're right." His eyes lit up with a strange light. "And this." He said swallowing. "This is my punishment." The pain in my chest then ripped wide open, taking my breath away, I wrapped my arms around my middle. He thought that me being alive forever was a _punishment_. "Well, if that's how you feel." I said turning away.

"Wait!" He said grabbing my hand. Suddenly I was very tired, not physically- I never would be again- but mentally and especially emotionally. "What do you want Edward?" I said closing my eyes. Exactly like I had when I first started to talk to him. I sighed and looked up at him.

He closed his eyes as he said in the smallest whisper. "You." What? What was he talking about? Was he….I froze. My brain seemed to be working very slowly as I pieced it together. I had asked him what he wanted he had said…me. No, no, no my brain tried to reject the information knowing it would eventually just cause more pain and heartache.

"Me?" I asked in a small voice. His eyes opened slowly as he sighed, blowing his sweet breath onto my face. "Bella, I love you. I always have and I always will." I ripped my hand out of his and staggered back. "No you don't….that's why you left." His face suddenly turned haggard, he rubbed a hand over his eyes. Then looking at me I saw the truth. The burning, unquenchable and irrevocable love that I had thought was lost.

"Bella, I _lied_. I wanted to keep you safe. So I lied." He casted his eyes to the pouring sky. "I couldn't believe you believed me so easily, I thought I would have to lie for hours to even plant a seed of doubt in your mind, I broke my heart when I did but it was necessary for you. So you could have a normal, happy life with a normal human." His face then took a look of deep regret and disgust. "But it was all pointless." I then stepped closer to him and in a small voice I whispered. "No it wasn't."

Then I kissed him.

The End…


End file.
